Private equity haiku<link rid="fn1">&#42</link> of the month

In the first of a new series, PEI applies an ancient art form to a modern (private equity-related) setting:

Sacramento bound To see Leon and Real And bow low for cash

QUOTABLES
“It is not a procedure that has any legal basis. It has grown up as a practice and no one has yet had the enthusiasm to contest it.”

Jon Moulton, charismatic Alchemy Partners boss, quoted in the UK's Daily Mail. Moulton was referring to the increasingly common practice of pre-pack administrations (referred to colloquially as “quickie bankruptcies”) as being open to abuse

“I am personally infuriated that one person's behaviour could damage our unblemished record built up over nearly a quarter century.”

Stephen Schwarzman, in a 13 January note to his firm, The Blackstone Group, revealing that Ramesh Chakrapani, managing director in the Corporate Advisory Services Group, had been accused of insider trading by the SEC

“Spending an hour with the FT is like being trapped in a room with assorted members of a millennialist suicide cult.”

London mayor Boris Johnson, complaining about overly negative press coverage of the economy

“Recently we increased our holdings in Blackstone a little bit… People here hate it. They come out and say, ‘Why the hell are you trying to save those people? You are the representative of the poor people eating porridge, and you're saving people eating shark fins!’”

Gao Xiqing, head of China's $2 trillion China Investment Corporation (CIC), interviewed in the December issue of The Atlantic magazine. CIC's foray into private investing included an ill-timed bet on Blackstone's IPO

*Haiku is a short, naturalistic form of Japanese poetry, which first began as a form of humorous light verse, known alternatively as haikai or hokku. It has three lines with 5, 7 and 5 syllables, respectively.