First Round: Top Trump

It’s First Round’s lucky day. Having put a fiver on “The Donald” running for President every election cycle since 1988, its ship has finally come in.

Yes, that’s right, after decades of speculation Donald Trump has finally thrown his hat in the ring.

“I’m really rich,” he said in his presidential campaign announcement. “That’s the kind of thinking you need for this country.”

Well. Quite.

And who does Trump have in mind for Treasury Secretary? According to an interview on MSNBC, none other than KKR’s Henry Kravis.

First Round is getting rather excited at the thought of such a pair becoming Leaders of the Free World. What “supercouple” portmanteau would they go for? Travis? Krump? Hmm, maybe those need patenting…

Need it be said, Kravis could be just the man for the job. After all, isn’t taking on an organisation for four to eight years, introducing operational improvements, deleveraging and then making a swift and profitable exit leaving said organisation in a better state than it was before all in a day’s work for the private equity veteran?

If Trump were to end up with the keys to the White House (and as of right now, it’s a distinct possibility – he’s only behind former Florida governor Jeb Bush as most favoured Republican presidential nominee in a recent Fox News poll), and Kravis did decide to swap EBITDA for treasury yields, First Round’s betting on the following:

1. Trump and Kravis hold a workplace seminar for White House staff and Cabinet members on the key objective of maintaining hair-do stability under the blades of Marine One

2. KKR’s bill for its annual LP meeting is slashed in half as Kravis uses his negotiating skills to seal ‘mates rates’ on hotel suites and rounds of golf at Trump hotels and signature Trump Golf courses

3. Private equity hacks make it onto the guest list for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

OK, so maybe that last one’s a little far-fetched, but Trump has promised to bring back the American Dream, so First Round’s pencilling in the last Saturday in April 2017 just in case.