First Round: On coprographia

First Round has always been a huge fan of excrement-based card games. So imagine how delighted it was in December to receive the delightfully-monikered ‘Whose Poo?’ as a Christmas present from- ... Actually, hang on a second. That’s not right.

In fact, First Round is willing to bet that nobody, anywhere in the world, in the history of time, has ever proclaimed themselves to be a fan of excrement-based card games. Especially as a Christmas present. And yet this really did land on our desks last month by way of festive cheer.

If you weren’t lucky enough to receive a pack, ‘Whose Poo’ is a card game that requires players to match pictures of faeces to the corresponding animal – ranging from your good old-fashioned dog poo and cow pat to the more exotic excrement of blue whales, moose and bats.

In the accompanying letter, our benefactor – who will remain anonymous – explained that the gift was supposed to represent their firm’s ability to cut through the ‘b******t’ so prevalent in the industry.

Admittedly, ‘Whose Poo’ is actually rather informative. Did you know, for example, that bat poo contains such high levels of phosphorus and nitrogen that it can be used to make gunpowder? Or that the Canadians make cocktail stirrers out of moose droppings? Or at least, so ‘What’s Poo’ claims – it’s entirely possible that it could be full of … it.

And said firm does have broader interests in this field: the letter also revealed – albeit in a tiny postscript at the bottom – that it’s involved with an extremely worthy-sounding project to build latrines in African schools (this would have been a rather more politic hook for the gift, you might argue).

All told, First Round can only admire the kind of insanely brilliant mind that not only dreamed up this bonkers plan, but also persuaded someone of otherwise sound mind to pay for it and send it to all their clients and contacts. Bravo.