Panic, you fool

Heard at a recent industry awards dinner, a leading GP misquoting the famous Rudyard Kipling poem If in order to lend it a more contemporary feel: “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming you, then you clearly haven't grasped the seriousness of the situation.”

“There will be one bright spot in the fundraising market and that will be special situations funds, particularly distressed debt funds which are likely to see a plethora of opportunities in the coming year.”

Michael Powell, head of alternative assets at Universities Superannuation Scheme in London, speaking to PEI

“We won't get signs of a pickup in activity until 2010 at the earliest, maybe even 2011.”

Martin Hintze, managing director at Goldman Sachs with responsibility for its buyout business in German-speaking Europe, in an interview with Reuters

“Financing is a better business for them. The automotive industry came to a screeching halt, so it makes sense to get rid of the bricks and mortar and become the automotive bank.”

Paul Schaye, managing director of New York-based private equity adviser Chestnut Hill Partners, on reports that Cerberus was preparing to retain Chrysler's finance unit while shedding the rest of the business. Quoted by Bloomberg

“RIP good times.”

The message on the front cover of a powerpoint presentation sent by legendary Silicon Valley venture capital firm Sequoia Capital to its portfolio companies warning them to take whatever action is needed to deal with a severe downturn

“It's an easier decision not to take a proposal to your investment committee than to go out on a limb.”

Les Fallick, managing director of placement agent Principle Advisory Services in Sydney, explains to PEI why it's tough to get LPs to part with their money in the current crisis